STORIES WORTH A THOUSAND WORDS

A WARTS 'N ALL AUTOBIOGRAPHY OF AN ORDINARY GUY

In October 2004, I set myself a writing assignment.

My grandfather had recently passed away, and he left behind his memoirs from WWII which he never finished. Since I was eager to test my writing abilities, I became determined to have some kind of account of my life put on record for my children so at least they could have some idea of my first 35 years alive on this planet.

The format was to be 50 essays, each comprising exactly 1000 words, or at least according to Microsoft Word 2002. I was also determined to have the work done by New Year's Day, and dagnabit, I did it.

I started posting them on my blog "A Bit O' Pampering And The Odd Shag" in March 2005, for it gave me something to post regularly to keep it ticking over. I was to post one chapter every 5 days right up to the final one. Below is a series of links so that you can follow the book in sequence should you so wish. Each chapter's title begins "1000 Words On..."

Naturally some of the chapters are a bit too personal in nature and so I have decided to reserve them for my children's eyes only. Here's a full list of the chapters nonetheless, but some of them do not lead to any text.

1. Introductions
2. Before I Came Along
3. My Life Before Ireland
4. My Grandfather And I
5. My Grandmother And I
6. The Rest Of The Clan
7. Count Kareshka
8. The Lee Household
9. My Alma Mater
10. Christmastime
11. Imaginary Friends
12. Some Of My Lyrics
13. My Mother And I (years of admiration)
14. My Inspirations
15. Tottenham Hotspur FC
16. Insomnia Questions
17. Live Aid
18. My Virginity
19. Quasi-Trekkie-Ness
20. Working In The Pub
21. The College Years
22. My Just Doing It (Sports That Is!)
23. Finding My Religion
24. My Ex
25. More Of My Lyrics
26. My Retail Career
27. The Airport Incident
28. Money And Stuff
29. My Mother And I (years of despair)
30. My Daughter
31. The United States Of America
32. My Son
33. My Virtual Life
34. Football In Ireland
35. Even More Bloody Lyrics!
36. The Demon Drink
37. The Other Women
38. Meldrew Moments
39. Closure
40. The Good And The Bad Crowds
41. Human Rights
42. The Hash Years
43. My Biological Father
44. September 11, 2001
45. My Self-Esteem
46. My Driving Test
47. The Republic Of Ireland
48. My Fiancée
49. Bleeding Heart Liberals
50. New Year’s Day 2005