SONG LYRICS AND POETRY

NB = These are all lyrics from songs unless otherwise stated.


SOUL HAVEN (poem)
2012 - a sequel for "Needed"
THE HARPINBANDITS
2011 - a Leinster rugby version of "Horse Outside"
NEEDED (poem)
2008 - not meant to be a comment on my creative consistency, though it could be...
YOUR FACE THIS DAY (poem)
2008 - Written 365 days after the last one - honest!
YOUR FACE THAT DAY (poem)
2007 - Written Feb 13 just in time for Val. Day
MY WEATHERGIRL
2006 - For you-know-who
NÍ THOSAÍMID AN TINE
2005 - Irish history set to the tune of Billy Joel's "We Didn't Start The Fire"
FEEL SO SMALL
1992,2005 - Self-doubt is both the theme of the song and the reason it took me 12 years to finally finish it
WHY CAN'T YOU SEE THE MADNESS?
2005 - Apparently many people have both someone to whom they would want to play this song, as well as someone they know would want ot sing it to them.
DUN LAOGHAIRE PIER (poem)
2005 - Beautiful day + beautiful setting = inspiration
BLUEBIRD
2001, 2005 - Based on a true story
FORGET
2005 - Many interpretations for this, I will let you forge your own
THE G.S.O.T.
2003 - An anthem for pragmatists everywhere
IN MEMORIAM 091101
2001-My response to the events of September 11
A TOWN CALLED JESUS
2000 - When you are low, there are many roads you can travel - this is about when I was faced with one of them
A WOMAN FOR ME
2000 - Just one self-pity song
NO MATTER HOW
1997 - To call this "Demons In My Soul" would have been too corny
SHANGHAI LULLABY
1996 - About the most fundamental human rights of all
THE NIGHT I ATE THE WORM
1995 - Pretty clear what this is about
WHILE WE
1994 - Just in case Bob Geldof asks me to write a new Band Aid song
HEAVY STUFF
1994 - An ode to my adolescence, inspired by Cobain's demise
BUCKPASSING
1994 - Written to my kids, though the song was conceived before they were
MILLSTONE, USA
1994 - How an ex pat sees his country of birth
THE "REAL WORLD"
1993 - Do we have to be "beautiful people" to succeed?
SO INCREDIBLY NAIVE
1992 - Why did everyone laugh when Rodney King asked if we could all get along?
POLITICAL WILL SONG
1992 - Dreaming of utopia
PATIENT DID NOT WISH TO DIVULGE ANY INFORMATION
1992 - or as I affectionately call it "Ode To A Bastard"
WHEN YOU'RE SEVENTEEN
1991 - You think you know everything...
MONEY'S GOT ME
1991 - Ode to greed in a-capella format
SAN FRANCISCO (YOU CAN BE MY MISTRESS ANYTIME)
1991 - How I see my second city
STRANGLE
1989 - Capital punishment : ample retribution or legalised murder?
I THINK I'M IN HEAVEN
1989 - Yeah I guess I was dreaming...
SERVIETTES (poem)
1988 - Insecurity in relationships - my specialty
LONELINESS
1986 - About just that
THINKING OF YOUR BODY
1985 - Not-so-cleverly-disguised song about masturbation
THE BOMB
1985 - My first complete song, about Hiroshima & Nagasaki

LIFESLICES

He was more of a pain than a pane...
The day I made someone laugh en francais...
Also known as "Babes Out of the Mouth"...
So much to say, so hard to say it
Feel free to take the piss...
Have a pint for Father's Day
A baseball story that's a bit of a mouthful
A story which I included during "geek week"
Boys will be boys!
Three short stories tied together with shoestring
Sadism is not a good quality for exam supervision.
My excuse for getting lost and I'm sticking to it!
My flirtation with the film industry, sadly not Kim Cattral
About an undervalued profession
Look down your nose at ME, will ya?
What is they say about lightning striking twice?
An alternative title was "Punch and Duty"
One night in a bar on a Greek island...
Was I working to hard or just crazy?
I need this story to remember my grandfather's last days by
There have been far worst nicknames for ex'es in history, I'm sure...
Is there etiquette to handle this situation?
They were asking for it
It could only happen to me...
This could also only happen to me...
A complex game of Chinese whispers bites me in the ass
That's Jeff WITH a J, thank you
What idiot did THAT?
Read it carefully before you judge...
The things you get up to as a kid...
Maybe I'm gettin too old for this concert lark
A classic exchange between me and my grandmother

STORIES WORTH A THOUSAND WORDS

A WARTS 'N ALL AUTOBIOGRAPHY OF AN ORDINARY GUY


In October 2004, I set myself a writing assignment.

My grandfather had recently passed away, and he left behind his memoirs from WWII which he never finished. Since I was eager to test my writing abilities, I became determined to have some kind of account of my life put on record for my children so at least they could have some idea of my first 35 years alive on this planet.

The format was to be 50 essays, each comprising exactly 1000 words, or at least according to Microsoft Word 2002. I was also determined to have the work done by New Year's Day, and dagnabit, I did it.

I started posting them on my blog "A Bit O' Pampering And The Odd Shag" in March 2005, for it gave me something to post regularly to keep it ticking over. I was to post one chapter every 5 days right up to the final one. Below is a series of links so that you can follow the book in sequence should you so wish. Each chapter's title begins "1000 Words On..."
Naturally some of the chapters are a bit too personal in nature and so I have decided to reserve them for my children's eyes only. Here's a full list of the chapters nonetheless, but some of them do not lead to any text.



1. Introductions
2. Before I Came Along
3. My Life Before Ireland
4. My Grandfather And I
5. My Grandmother And I
6. The Rest Of The Clan
7. Count Kareshka
8. The Lee Household
9. My Alma Mater
10. Christmastime
11. Imaginary Friends
12. Some Of My Lyrics
13. My Mother And I (years of admiration)
14. My Inspirations
15. Tottenham Hotspur FC
16. Insomnia Questions
17. Live Aid
18. My Virginity
19. Quasi-Trekkie-Ness
20. Working In The Pub
21. The College Years
22. My Just Doing It (Sports That Is!)
23. Finding My Religion
24. My Ex
25. More Of My Lyrics
26. My Retail Career
27. The Airport Incident
28. Money And Stuff
29. My Mother And I (years of despair)
30. My Daughter
31. The United States Of America
32. My Son
33. My Virtual Life
34. Football In Ireland
35. Even More Bloody Lyrics!
36. The Demon Drink
37. The Other Women
38. Meldrew Moments
39. Closure
40. The Good And The Bad Crowds
41. Human Rights
42. The Hash Years
43. My Biological Father
44. September 11, 2001
45. My Self-Esteem
46. My Driving Test
47. The Republic Of Ireland
48. My Fiancée
49. Bleeding Heart Liberals
50. New Year’s Day 2005

RANTS AND OBSERVATIONS

Bloggers bring white phosphorus to the public's attention
At least the controversy makes cycling somewhat interesting...
My take on the Irish pastime of hurling
The customer may not always be right, but there are still limits...
The 60th anniversary of Hiroshima and Nagasaki
An innocent man is shot dead against a backdrop of terror
Hey, it must be good, the title has the word "naked" in it
This letter to rioters was linked from other blogs
I was coming to grips with the aims of the MakePovertyHistory campaign
How to explain the Eurovision Song Contest to Americans
George Galloway takes no prisoners in Washington DC
It seemed the tsunami was all but forgotten after a matter of weeks
My review of one of the worst American shit-coms ever
My views on the incredible bravery of the McCartney sisters in the midst of the so-called "peace process" in Northern Ireland
Gun violence and drink driving draw deadly comparisons
Racism in Ireland is growing
My first post that sparked off a series of differing comments, all about the death penalty
My favourite sports rant about the one way NOBODY wants to lose
My first real rant on my main blog

THE GEAR

An Irish story in 10 parts by JL Pagano

character profiles



EPISODE ONE : "YER ONE WITH THE RUNNERS"






EPISODE TWO : "YER MAN WITH THE RONNIE"






EPISODE THREE : "YER ONES WITH THE CLIPBOARDS"





EPISODE FOUR : "YER MAN WITH THE BEAMER"






EPISODE FIVE : "YER ONE WITH THE JERSEY"




part four